wCHAP.19
(10/4/98)
CHAPTER XIX
THE KNOWLEDGE BANK AND A WISE COMMUNITY
Achieving, increasing, using, playing with knowledge is one of the primary necessities to achieve a SFLIHM (a Sustainable Feeling that one's LIfe Has Meaning). In order to assist in these processes a CPASR (a Center for the Practical Application of a Science of Religion) might develop a component called a Knowledge Bank. This organization would gather all the known information in the world and in so far as possible have it indexed and available through internet or something comparable. This would ensure that all information necessary to develop a Wise Community and to become a Wise Person would be available in the best form circumstances permitted.
The Knowledge Bank would be necessary to construct a Wise Community because until we know what needs to be done we must work empirically by trial and error to develop hypotheses, test them, and slowly discover what works. The same is true for the Wise Person although this effort may be even more complex.
Also, many of the organizations that would make up a Wise Community (discussed in Volume I, Chapter Two, "Organizing for a Wise Community," would be tied into the Knowledge Bank to perform their function. In addition this Knowledge Bank would provide much of the glue that would hold a Wise Community together. It might be one of the initial structures to start the growth of a Wise Community. One of the primary challenges in building a Wise Community will be to get persons interested in the goals and involved in the effort of doing this.
In order to get them involved we might address those needs so fundamental they are experienced by practically everyone. One such need is the desire for a companion to love and to be loved by. Because of the complexity of this problem in the modern world the Knowledge Bank might be very useful. Large cities attract many people not only because they offer a wide variety of jobs and professional activities but also because they offer recreational, cultural, and leisure activities. But best of all an urban area offers an almost infinite range of interesting people to meet, form friendships with, and even marry. However, in spite of this potential many people spend a lonely life because up to this time no way has existed to search through this potential richness and make the actual contacts in a way that has a high probability to succeed.
One part of this effort to help individuals find love would be to guide them toward understanding what a successful relationship consists of and how they can achieve what is necessary. The second is to put them in contact with individuals with whom they have the potential to develop a nurturing, satisfying, growing relationship.
As indicated in Chapter VII and VIII in order to find, develop, and sustain a loving, nurturing relationship and marriage it is necessary in most cases to know what such a relationship requires. If we are looking for one thing and what is needed is the opposite our success is doomed. My guess is that most persons in modern society have all kinds of erroneous ideas about what they actually need in order to have a fulfilling relationship and marriage.
Once we understand our own needs, short comings, possibilities, etc. then it would be useful to have a way to tap into the massive resources of our community and find the ideal mate. For this only the computer with an adequate support network will do the job. The power and potential of computers could, if properly utilized, guide anyone to an enduring and wonderful love. This data can be analyzed by computers to help persons meet others who share the attributes, interests, life-styles, etc. necessary to build a loving, supportive relationship. This whole process must continuously be studied, expanded, and changed as experience accumulates and errors and deficiencies are found.
One of the primary goals of a CPASR would be to initiate the changes necessary to build such a resource. An advanced computer dating service would utilize the procedures discussed here as well as integrating these services into CPASR activities so the dimension of community would be part of the service since community is essential to any successful love relationship.
The computer date matching project mentioned in FUZZY THINKING[1] struck me as having potential usefulness here. I would think that a fuzzy date matching program might provide the first step toward developing the organization discussed above. As indicated this organization might provide a whole new approach toward binding all of society together. As I have said many times this binding is the prime responsibility of religion (and a Science of Religion). Also, it is the key ingredient the world needs if it is to overcome the current forces causing separation, fragmentation, loneliness, etc. A CPASR might be able to build a far, far better world starting with a fuzzy date matching project!
p. 124-125[2] : "The invention of electronic computers has greatly enhanced the possibility of successful pragmatic love. Old-fashioned match-makers had to rely on astrology, family histories, local traditions or property arrangements to determine whether a proposed union was sensible and workable. Often one's parents looked after such things. They knew the ways of the world better than youth. The result was called an 'arranged marriage.' Today anyone can arrange their own marriage with a reasonable probability of happiness, the dating agencies claim, by applying computer-matching processes to the same kinds of basic family, personality and biographical data that the old fashioned matchmaker considered. Of course a computer isn't essential. Some of my respondents arranged their own introductions. They joined organizations where they thought it most likely to meet a compatible mate, and unobtrusively conducted their own 'interviews' to determine whether a potential partner would be suitable: 'How old are you?'; 'Are you from around here?' (that's important; no use getting involved with someone who lives a thousand miles away); 'What do you do for a living?' (also important; a suitable pragmatic partner must be socially compatible with your career, and acceptable to your friends and colleagues).
"The pragmatic approach is not as cold-blooded as it sounds. Once a sensible choice has been made, more intense feelings may be developed. Oriental matchmakers are fond of noting that in romantic love 'the kettle is boiling when the young couple first start out' and can only cool as time goes by. Romantic love makes post-marital disenchantment inevitable, they argue, while an arranged marriage is like a kettle that starts cold but gradually warms up. Love grows as the years go by."
p. 126-127[2] : "Modern psychology and sociology have made a science of the matchmaker's impressionist art. By analyzing the statistical characteristics of 'happy,' long-lasting marriages, social scientists have developed a shopper's guide for the pragmatic lover.[3] For example, the marriages most likely to succeed in modern urban North America are those contracted between persons in their mid-twenties, after an engagement of not less than eighteen months and not more than three years. The couple should have a common religious and social background and about equal educational achievement. If one is somewhat dominating in personality, the other should be correspondingly submissive."
"Survival of a marriage is not necessarily a proof of happiness, of course. The spouses may merely have settled for the best they could find, and resigned themselves to the habituating effects of domestic life. You may not be willing to settle for less than great beauty, marvelous sex, exciting conversations, and all those turned-on qualities celebrated in romantic love-stories, but no dating agency or introduction service is likely to help in that case. How can we explain to a computer that the guy or girl it's just matched you with may be a perfect fit in terms of income, social background, and personality, but when you meet, 'there's something missing' or 'something that just turns me off'?
RESPONSE: Some of Lee's comments above conflict with the studies of Gottman, and my guess is that others won't hold up under emperical study. Also, I would guess that there might be interview techniques and material that would in fact help uncover "what's missing," or "why am I turned off"? As this data is assembled it should help to determine more clearly what is needed in the partner, and what is needed in the individual.
p. 132: "Not all customers of computer dating agencies are pragmatics, of course. The ludic lover can also use this means of meeting new partners, though many agencies try to discourage clients who are not serious about marriage. Even an erotic lover might try an agency, hoping to meet someone at the agency parties who will strike them with 'love at first sight'. But the kind of loving contemporary agencies can service most efficiently is pragma."
RESPONSE: However, the foregoing need not be the case. With better theories, information, education of the individuals, and larger pools of individuals there is no reason that all persons could not be served by this tool. This is particularly true of those persons working to become a Wise Person and therefore open to exploring new ways of being.
As the above project builds and develops experience and success it could, step-by-step, be expanded to bring in other needs and interests: sports, entertainment, special interests, etc. But the idea would be to also add the dimension of community so persons would not only bond one-on-one, but in groups so there is genuine social integration.
1. FUZZY THINKING, Bart Kosko, p. 170, Hyperion, New York, 1993.
2. COLOURS OF LOVE, John Alan Lee, New Press, Toronto, 1973.