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(9/15/98)

CHAPTER XXI

LIVING SPACE FOR THE WISE PERSON

What housing arrangements are most likely to support a Wise Community made up of Wise Persons? It seems to me that hints of some thiings to consider should include study of the way human beings live "naturally."

Based on the available evidence, I would guess that human beings evolved in an environment in which they lived together in small groups of 10-30. Housing arrangements were such that people lived in close proximity to each other where they had the best likelihood of experiencing warm, loving, supportive relationships. Here the elders with the help of the developing kids would have cared for the youngest while the strong, healthy, and mature members of the tribe hunted, gathered food, and carried on the work of the tribe.

The foregoing pattern has been followed for most of the 40,000 year history of Homo sapiens sapiens and the five million years of proto-human history. Although this pattern is not obvious in cultures other than the existing hunter-gatherer tribes, it is by no means evolved out of our genes. Even today in the U.S. we find rural areas where the grandparents, parents, uncles and aunts, and children live together and each contributes what they have to offer to support the whole. All members of the group are necessary and all have a role to fill. And, we see variations of this pattern in a thousand places in every culture: fraternity and sorority living during college, communal living, hobo "jungles," jails and prisons, drug treatment programs, mental institutions, etc.

However, most of the U.S. has moved to a very different arrangement: We commonly have one parent and one child living together as a "family." The parent works. The child is in day-care or school. They spend a brief time together morning and evening watching TV or in other activities where there is minimal human connection. Their main interaction tends to be angry words exchanged with threats, tears, and pain for all.

Grandparents live with other "senior citizens" in retirement communities in Arizona, etc. where only older people are allowed to live. Alternatively, when parents get too old and feeble to maintain their little box house, they are moved into a convalescent hospital. Here they are not allowed to have sexual contact or other loving, physical connections with each other. They are fed, bathed and medicated until they die.

When they die we have expensive funerals where they are beautified by a cosmetologist. They are put on display and look more alive than they did in life. Since the person was not part of family life their absence rarely helps anyone to realize more than momentarily that life is short. Therefore, we frequently miss the point that it is important to demonstrate our love each hour of each day because the opportunity to do so will soon be gone.

The above living patterns occur because we have built our living spaces for the small, "modern" family. We have no room for "Granny." In addition, our day is filled with job and other pressures. Even the two adult family lacks the resources of time and energy to care for persons needing special attention. Care of the old and feeble is beyond our resources. Likewise our youth who are mentally deficient or physically impaired must be cared for in independent institutions. Anyone unable to function in the fast-paced society we have allowed to come into being must be jettisoned.

Part of the motivation for the foregoing arrangements is the fact that we have not yet found the proper balance between our need for loving connection and our need to have our own space where we can be ourselves, take care of our selves. Because societies are organized on the basis of our "tribal" propensities and each person strives in various ways to achieve their "Wisdom" potential there is a deep-seated conflict between the individuals in the group. This will continue and actually get worse until we are able to develop Wise Persons working to create a Wise Community.

Another part of society's failure results because we have allowed Christian values to guide social planning. The foregoing focuses on the next life rather than this one. As a result we have permitted an un-planned, un-coordinated cesspool to develop. Current society is not structured to provide individuals a full rich life. Rather it provides a place for bodies to live until their soul is released from life and ascends to Heaven.

I believe a Religion of Wisdom based on a Science of Religion needs to promote planning to develop new kinds of living space. These must do a better job of filling basic human needs while developing each person's "Wisdom" potential. When this is properly done we will have the synergistic relationship between the individual and society promised by a Science of Religin and a Religion of Wisdom Wise Persons and a Wise Community depend on good living arrangements. These structures need not be for everyone, but only for the 50-80% of persons who require this kind of closeness to live happy, productive, fulfilled lives.

To achieve the foregoing aim we need to change our whole system of architecture with necessary changes in Building Codes, Zoning, etc. The laying out and building of houses, apartments, condominiums, etc. would be very different. In an article on communes[1] the question is asked, "Why not use the principles of behavior to construct a society in which problems are prevented by design instead of always trying to solve problems after they are created by a defectively arranged society?" The same question could be asked with the focus on architecture and living space. Many of our social problems and personal problems arise because of the way we build and lay out our living space. Instead of constructing little boxes that separate people into small units or force them to be alone, we should build human centered structures. We need housing that makes it easy for people to get together, to connect, to interact, to support each other. Today, people in urban areas can only get together by mutual scheduling because of the way living space and time are arranged. Changes need to be introduced so individuals would come together as a natural part of their living. I am convinced that psychological depression is primarily a natural reaction to lack of physical affection, nurturing touch, and other loving connection. A Wise Community must be arranged so that individuals who desire will have close, warm associations throughout their life.

We should build so there is room for grandparents who can revel in their time with children. We need to provide structures where our adopted "families" (those who share our values, convictions and basic approach to life) can be together and provide the love and support we all need. But, perhaps, most important of all a nurturing environment must be provided where children can grow up mentally and physically healthy and able to take their place as positive, creative, productive adults. "It takes a whole village to raise a healthy child."

Naturally, all these persons would be Wise Persons, or working in that direction so that the sharing would be nurturing and growth enhancing. Every area of conflict and failure to connect would be an opportunity for learning how to develop in a more satisfying way. The foregoing is especially important since modern Americans have been socialized in such a way that they are not psychologically prepared for the kind of living discussed above. Most individuals will probably need to be reconditioned before they can become a functioning part of the type of society discussed here. Obviously, this retraining will only be available to interested persons and will be well worth the effort involved. In order to become a Wise Person; i.e., a person who has achieved a SFLIHM, one needs the kind of loving community discussed above. A Wise Community is not possible until persons live in environments that bring out the best in each person and support them in their efforts to achieve a SFLIHM. Also, see Chapter III, " The Wise Community."

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